LEADING FROM LOSS
When God Scripts a Different Plan
As I suffered through the post-op discomfort of a fifth and final jaw reconstruction surgery in February, it dawned on me.
God’s designs for my last years as my church’s lead pastor differed greatly from my deepest desires.
Who longs for a stewardship of loss, suffering, and pain? Nobody in his right mind.
Ernie Johnson didn’t. A friend of mine sent me his video story suggesting we share a lot in common. He was right. See for yourself.
For a more detailed version, watch here.
My hope for the end game was to lead from growth, gain, and mission. Instead providence scripted the opposite.
I’ve buried a son and a wife.
I’ve endured a pathological fracture of the right mandible due to osteonecrosis from radiation for head and neck cancer.
Jaw reconstruction has involved a total of five surgeries in Miami, a bout with osteomyelitis (bone infection), speech therapy, loss of all my bottom front and right side teeth, chronic drooling, impaired swallowing, and thousands of dollars of medical and travel bills not covered by insurance.
I’ve been in and out of the pulpit so often and so fast I’ve got chronic whiplash.
While recovering from the latest surgery, something else hit me. This year likely brings yet another loss–the end of nearly a two-decade investment in ministry at my church.
It’s time to pass the baton to a younger man. I have no doubt. It’s my idea and God may well have a successor on the immediate horizon.
Talking about succession the last couple of years didn’t faze me much. Theory is like that; reality is not.
I didn’t feel the loss coming. But now I do. I hope to navigate this loss like the others–with the help of God’s grace–as I have often blogged about in the past.
A few days after news of the transition went public, I received an email from a relative newcomer to our church. These words encouraged my perspective greatly:
I read about the big succession announcement in the E-news and heard about it last night at community group. Woah! I am selfishly so sad that you all are phasing out, but I feel like I can resonate on some level . . . and that I should be unselfish and rejoice with what God seems to be doing. Praying for you guys as this next year sounds like it will be filled with many changes and mixed emotions. Last night in community group, and the last few times, people have mentioned in conversation how much your sufferings have impacted their spiritual walks and worship of Jesus as they have watched the grace of God as you have walked through such hard providences. It makes me wonder if your lives as a living sermon illustration are the most powerful, though the most painful, sermon you could give. I have heard it said in community group multiple times how much power of the Spirit has come in your preaching over the past few very hard years. I think it all has been and is doing more than we could ever know this side of eternity. Praying that God encourages your hearts in this season.
That note goes in my “Why I Became a Pastor File.” A great reminder to say “yes” to the unscripted.
Question: How has God used the unscripted in your life to advance His purposes and grow you spiritually?